Afflicted by flashbacks of what he had done in his early Infected state, Ian is ravaged by guilt born from the horror of these monstrous acts. For his part, the Vampire tries to atone for this in whatever way he can; from listening to the concerns of Eclipse Operatives, to using his own funds to pay for medications and treatments for those outside of his organisationand even risking his own life to help another soul out. Of course, he is not blinded by his pursuit of absolution; he knows that there are enough people in this world who do not need a mutative virus to be a monster. Still, he cannot help but wonder "what if" when it comes to some.
A Beast I am lest a Beast I become...
Throughout the entirety of medical journey, it had been hammered into his mind that life was sacred. As a result of this, combined with the guilt of his monstrous self's deeds and in spite of his inhuman abilities and appetities, Ian still considers himself a human being; he sees himself as no better than the people he is surrounded by, and feels that it would be wrong to to see them as anything but. To go the other way, to think of himself as superior to them, would lead to do different breed of monstrosity than the one he had been...something that is far worse, for at least the other Infected levels are bereft of moral thought.
The Hidden Heart
In terms of sexuality, he officially considers himself Bisexual, with an even preference for both genders. However, he has not had a relationship in the years his true self returned to the world, and his reasons are rather numerous. Naturally, Ian is terrified of outliving a potential partner...but that is nothing compared to his fear of regressing back to his monstrous state or being rejected should his true nature ever be revealed to the one he gives his hear to. It would take a lot of effort for someone to snap him out of this state of mind...or little effort at all to wound him in such a manner
More than just a Pencil-Pusher...
Due to his hands-on approach to being Eclipse's Treasurer, this gives him opportunities to interact with other characters outside of his faction. He also has yet to meet any other Infected like him; it would be consdered a welcome opportunity on his part, since it would both mean he isn't the only one of his kind out there and that there is hope for the Infected after all. Either way, this makes it much easier for him to reach out to those outside Eclipse and not just sit around correcting the books
Of Knowledge and the Soul of Humanity
Whilst medicine had always been his primary source of study, Ian had always taken an interest in other, sometimesmore esoteric fields of study; history, philosophy, culture...all of these are fields that are no longer, if at all, explored unless some necessity dictates it. Of course, being someone who had been infected at the dawn of the Drac-2 global outbreak, the Vampire had acquired much knowledge pertaining to world that was, and to see how fallen the people of today are when it comes to that knowledge is most disheartening for the Treasurer. As such, at much personal cost, Ian does what he can to recover old world sources of knowledge, as well as acquiring new knowledge as well from as many sources he can find. Be it firsthand or from any party willing to work with him on it.
There's also another issue at play in the world now; when it comes to creativity, it seems the need to survive has impeded humanity's ability to enjoy itself. Avenues of culture, media, art and gaming have more-or-less fallen to the weyside in the pursuit of surviving till the next morning. For someone who had been born in the world's better years, Ian feels that a world without such expressions makes survival completely pointless; what is the point of even surviving if you cannot let yourself be human for once. As far as he is concerned, the humans of the apocalypse are clinging on to the essence, the soul of humanity as a whole. Of course, there is a bit of self-motivation there, for even after all these years, Ian still remains an ardent nerd when it comes science-fiction, fantasy and other such writings.
Posted 04-26-2021, 06:12 PMThis post was last modified: 04-26-2021, 06:25 PM by Ian Donnaghan
Posted 04-26-2021, 06:12 PM
This post was last modified: 04-26-2021, 06:25 PM by Ian Donnaghan
A Return to Serenity
