Excuses, excuses, excuses.
Jacqueline had many as to why she was here at this hour and not where she was supposed to be. Where the rest where, the more rigid, more determined, more... more—
But she was- determination—she did not lack it.
In fact, she was brimming with it, because, well.
She was here, wasn’t she? And it took a special kind of adamant, of stubborn, of determined with a dash of reckless to be here, beyond the barracks. Outside. Where she knew patrols roamed, but- there was familiarity here, a sense of awareness and of comfort brought forth by the repetition of a pattern like the ticks of a clock or the movement of the sun, or... or—
Point is—and it was the only thing that truly mattered in the end—she knew they did not stray, knew they were predictable and thus able to be avoided. And that knowledge, it was enough to stir her to naught, much as naught was infrequent and fleeting like the birds that flew by once every blue moon, the back of her throat.
She could not bring herself to be a machine.
She was cradling her own victory token, a half-empty pack of cigarettes—the good kind. Not the stale, cheap ones. Those were not worth it- not worth the effort, the time, the metaphorical tears—and she was cradling one between her lips, testing the feeling even if she knew she’d actually have to light it to have the nicotine and the tar bleed into her mouth.
But much as she may have wished for privacy, for a moment that was just her own, for a memory that would only be hers and no one else’s, movement—fuck—would eventually wriggle in the corner of her eye, and though it was dark and she was far away from any patrol (she knew that, knew she hadn’t miscalculated), she also knew she was not delusional. And so it was only natural that she felt herself tense, with unease, with possessiveness, but the figure— they did not move any closer. Did not veer towards the warehouse where she was at, pressed against the eastern wall, like a bug. But she sunk low regardless, even if there were several yards between them.
She could not see who it was for the life of her—the angle was wrong, the oak tree obscured a more direct view—but she knew what she’d seen and though she didn’t know who, she knew they were there.
Likely unaware.
Hopefully unaware.
Jacqueline pondered her options.